forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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