if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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