If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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