I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
