The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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