Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
