yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
