yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
