I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Randomize
