the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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