It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
