I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
