How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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