But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize