Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
