They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
