Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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