that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
