Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
