I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
