Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i already hear my dad disowning me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
