If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
