PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize