my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
