I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
