I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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