I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize