apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
