Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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