"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Umm I'm too high to move.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
