no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize