Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
