What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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