so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
