I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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