even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they need to just BURY HIM!
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
