she woke up with a sticky ear
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
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