is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
