just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize