if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
