1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
