Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
