Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
