your room smells of hookers.
And success
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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