she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
