Your tits are I can't wait for
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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