If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
