I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
