that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about youâ€
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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