why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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