How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
