U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
