I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize
