He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
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The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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