I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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