My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
