I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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