i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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