you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
whose parrot is this?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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