i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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