I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize