I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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