i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
