it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
