mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
